13 2 / 2014
So for a while there I was almost becoming an emotionally stable person. Going to hospital everyday and constantly doing something: being with the team, in a tute, personal study. More importantly being with people I don’t really know meaning I wasn’t slacking off as much and was kinda making new friends and actually growing as a person.
As soon as I saw my old friends again, one of whom I now have mixed emotions about, all the feelings came back. Suddenly (with this person in particular) I was anxious, wanting nothing more than to be alone with them.
Having already been rejected twice (or three times? I can’t remember) I didn’t wanna ask her to do something tomorrow (because Valentines), but it was the only time I was free. So I asked her, and she said she was busy.
Immediately the old anxious Zac kicks in:
"BUSY WITH WHAT? SHE MUST BE ON A DATE WITH SOMEONE C’MON ITS VALENTINES TOMORROW! WHY WOULD YOU ASK HER AGAIN YOU KNEW YOU WOULDN’T WIN. YOU’RE SUCH A LOSER."
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I thought this was overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
06 2 / 2014
So I think I’m getting the reputation for being someone who’s late and I hate it.
I’m almost always on time for everything else in my life, but for the last week I just cannot seem to get it right. Been like 5 minutes late for two tutes and they were both the first tutes with separate people (which is really annoying for someone who always tries to make a good first impression). The last one wasn’t my fault. But gah. Really annoying. Typing it down is making me realise how minor an issue this actually is though. Tumblr is therapeutic.
05 2 / 2014
Changed my mind. Put my first jelco in today, got it first time. Eff yes. Medicine is cool again.
02 2 / 2014
There is no direction whatsoever in this course and it’s crazy. I just wrote 4.5 pages on warfarin and INR monitoring randomly today because I was so lost.
I’m so unproductive when there’s no “defined goal”.
Basically just been told to “learn everything you don’t know already”
25 1 / 2014
So I just bought these new runners which were quite expensive since I’ve been running everyday with my old crappy shoes and thought I needed an upgrade. I’m high arched and these have arch support (which is for the opposite of high arched, flat footedness) and going for my first run I was a little disappointed, these are a bit uncomfortable in one of my feet.
I don’t wanna have to goto a podiatrist :/
30 10 / 2013
IM A CREEP. IM A WEIRDO. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE. I DONT BELONG HERE.